Postings

Hello. I have been meaning to post more often the last two weeks, but things have been a little out of whack for me. For some reason, working late has really thrown me off. I don't know why. I have been working late for the last...oh, I would say five years?!?! It just has this time. I can't really place my finger on it.

After a year of being pushed around at work, the stress was really starting to get to me. That was a very strange feeling to me. I just don't get stressed. I didn't really feel stressed, but my body was starting to give me the signs. Really a slight twitch in my right eye. Man, that shit was annoying. It twitched throughout the day. Not constant, but damn near. Notice that I did say "was annoying". After Laura told me that stress was the cause of the twitch, I decided that it was time to take a step back and try to calm down. I started reading up on stress a bit and I tried out a couple of easy things and it seems to have worked. Nothing major, listening to music, a deep breath here and there, and starting to read a little has done wonders. My next step, which is huge, is to work out a little too.

After a slight meltdown, well...it wasn't so much of an epic meltdown, but for me it was. My managers like to call it a vent session, some things kind of snapped for me. Like I snapped out of something. Now that I look back at it, I find if funny. I got managements attention and I got some shit off of my chest, so I guess it worked, right!?!


After this, I decided to not let shit get to me at work. That is a tall order for me, but I think I have mastered that. Who do I do it? To be completely honest with you....with a FUCK IT attitude. Believe it or not, this has worked. Sometimes it is a little harder than others, but I have maintained this new found attitude for about two weeks. I feel so much better too!

Hopefully this is the start of new things for me. Or at least a fresh new look at life. There are things that I need to rediscover. Things that I feel almost ashamed that I have let slip past me. Listening to music, for one, is a really big one for me. Music is so key to me. I love it. Over the last two years, I just haven't listened to music like I want to. I am trying to change that. Reading is another one. I do love a good book, but I haven't kept up on that, and I have plenty of books to read right at my fingertips. Creating music...well, if you know me, I love that too, plus it could help the stress thing too. Sigh...time seems to be against me on this one, but I shouldn't lose sight of it and give up. I won't....at least, I hope not to.

I just feel like the last two or three years that laziness has gotten the best of me. I think that I am just about tired of it too. It's time to get up and do something different, or do things that I used to do. I know that making time for yourself can be difficult, but I think with a little bit of organization, I can manage to squeeze in somethings. I have to.....

What better time than now? The new year is approaching...and quickly too.

I think I am ready....