Saturday, December 31, 2011

Thursday, December 29, 2011

I am tired...

I am tired...


...that is all...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I better night...

Ever since Ruby told me that her Mom would watch the girls overnight on the Wednesday before she went back to work, I had a plan of going to grab some Sushi or something and then going out for some drinks afterward. When the day finally rolled around, I was a little giddy. I finally told Ruby what I was thinking about, and naturally she was on board.

Imagine my letdown when I get home after working a little big late (ok I worked until 7:00) to find out that her mom had some running around to do and that it would be on the late side until we met up. It was well after 9:00 when we finally got the go ahead. Spoiled our plans a little, but still nice of her to watch the girls for us.

So my master plan of going out for some Sushi and then a nice drink or two turned into just hitting up Taquria Del Sol and ending the night at home downing a beer or two. Not bad but a far cry from what I envisioned. In fact I ended up at home either too tired or too full to even crack open a beer, probably a little of both.

It has been far too long since we had a nice and quiet night together. It's just the way things are these days. It's no real big deal, it comes with the territory. I am sure we will get another chance soon enough, but if we don't, we will survive.

Well off to bed. Good night...

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

These are the kind of nights that I hate...

What a way to start off the week back from Christmas break (ok..just a four day; five with a day of vacation break), by working until almost 9:00. This isn't what I was expecting. Not by a long shot. I really expected it to be fairly dead, which it wasn't even close to. I find it a bit difficult to get on the computer and scrape some thoughts together and type this up.

These are definitely the kind of nights that I hate. Get to work at 07:30 and work until 8:35. I am tired. I am just wiped man. Tired and fried. There were a couple of things that I wanted to do tonight, but that is pretty much completely shot. This is a typical night when I clock in well over ten hours at work. At least I got to see the kids up. That is a big plus. While on their Christmas break, they have gotten quite good at staying up late. When I don't get to see them up, it just makes days like this even crappier. So tonight was a little bit better than normal in that sense.

Tonight I was supposed to do a little bit of research on photography. I don't have the capacity to sit and read. I wanted to listen to some new music, but I might fall asleep. Instead I wanted to get a few thoughts down and now will plop on the couch and finish watching Teen Titans with Raymond. I think he is tired too, which is good news for me...

Alright...there you have it. Another night wasted....well, here is to a better tomorrow...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Postings

Hello. I have been meaning to post more often the last two weeks, but things have been a little out of whack for me. For some reason, working late has really thrown me off. I don't know why. I have been working late for the last...oh, I would say five years?!?! It just has this time. I can't really place my finger on it.

After a year of being pushed around at work, the stress was really starting to get to me. That was a very strange feeling to me. I just don't get stressed. I didn't really feel stressed, but my body was starting to give me the signs. Really a slight twitch in my right eye. Man, that shit was annoying. It twitched throughout the day. Not constant, but damn near. Notice that I did say "was annoying". After Laura told me that stress was the cause of the twitch, I decided that it was time to take a step back and try to calm down. I started reading up on stress a bit and I tried out a couple of easy things and it seems to have worked. Nothing major, listening to music, a deep breath here and there, and starting to read a little has done wonders. My next step, which is huge, is to work out a little too.

After a slight meltdown, well...it wasn't so much of an epic meltdown, but for me it was. My managers like to call it a vent session, some things kind of snapped for me. Like I snapped out of something. Now that I look back at it, I find if funny. I got managements attention and I got some shit off of my chest, so I guess it worked, right!?!


After this, I decided to not let shit get to me at work. That is a tall order for me, but I think I have mastered that. Who do I do it? To be completely honest with you....with a FUCK IT attitude. Believe it or not, this has worked. Sometimes it is a little harder than others, but I have maintained this new found attitude for about two weeks. I feel so much better too!

Hopefully this is the start of new things for me. Or at least a fresh new look at life. There are things that I need to rediscover. Things that I feel almost ashamed that I have let slip past me. Listening to music, for one, is a really big one for me. Music is so key to me. I love it. Over the last two years, I just haven't listened to music like I want to. I am trying to change that. Reading is another one. I do love a good book, but I haven't kept up on that, and I have plenty of books to read right at my fingertips. Creating music...well, if you know me, I love that too, plus it could help the stress thing too. Sigh...time seems to be against me on this one, but I shouldn't lose sight of it and give up. I won't....at least, I hope not to.

I just feel like the last two or three years that laziness has gotten the best of me. I think that I am just about tired of it too. It's time to get up and do something different, or do things that I used to do. I know that making time for yourself can be difficult, but I think with a little bit of organization, I can manage to squeeze in somethings. I have to.....

What better time than now? The new year is approaching...and quickly too.

I think I am ready....

Thursday, December 8, 2011

New Ventures...

Tomorrow I venture into new waters. I will try my hand at being a professional photographer...well, not professional yet. If things go well, maybe. Mike's band, A Sundae Drive, have asked if I would be interested in taking band photos for them. After a bit of hesitation, and a bit of self doubt, I figured why the hell not? Why is my first thought, to doubt myself? I don't know. It's things like that which limit you. I mean, that's no way to thing about things? I am sure that there is a lot better people that could do it, but Mike said that the band wanted to get to know me a bit better and they wanted to work with someone that they could keep things casual and friendly.

It was good news to me. I am very excited about it. For so long I have wanted to get more into photography. To learn how to shoot and just take bad ass pictures, but for whatever reason, just never got going. This could very well be a big ass push that I sometimes need to dive right into it. I hope so. I think that it is already working too. I feel anxious, fresh and ready to do it.

I just wanted to get down a few thoughts on how I felt about it before I actually got going on it. Trust me, I am a lot more excited than probably this post leads on.

I have the camera charging (thanks to Laura), and it will be in good hands. Hopefully I will post pictures up somewhere and share them, if they are good enough that is....

I hope big updates soon!

Yay!!!!!!!!