what to do?

Here is another post that I started to work on a couple of days ago. I saved it so I just would delete it and not update anything.

I find that if I type something up and email to myself, I can build a entry from that, or just get a snapshot of how I was feeling for a moment in time. As you can see, work is giving me a lot of trouble these days and even though I hate to write about it, it's almost unavoidable. Here is is....


It's hard to be positive when you are in a place that seems to beat you down. Even if you are trying to keep a positive face on. I guess the true feeling is still out there, giving that negative vibe. I keep trying to be nice guy, I mean, that is what I am by nature, and nice guy, but there comes a time where being nice just doesn't get it done. I think it is that time now. Well, maybe past time. I hate to say that, I hate even more to do it, but I am going to have to. I hope that it comes across ok and gets the job done.

It just sucks that it has to come down to this. Still I am patient, I realize that I am probably too patient, but I wait and see what will happen....

It's difficult for me to figure out how I want to treat this, or what I am going to do long term. I think the long term solution is inevitable. I hate to say it, but it might be for the best. At least for me. For now, part of me wants to just work and continue on, not letting anything get to me but there are other times where you just can't ignore things. I don't know. I guess, I just don't know how much longer or how much patient that I can continue being. Only time will tell? I guess so because right now, I don't have any real answers....